So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
