I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
