honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
