WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
