That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
