where am i from again
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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