I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
