hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i would punch a child for taco bell
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
