I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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