it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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