Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
she peed on how many people?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Randomize
