dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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