You made me cry and you don't even care
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
