No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
