I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
