i just google imaged poop.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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