false alarm. still invincible.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
