so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
