Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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