i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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