he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
