she woke up with a sticky ear
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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