why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
