ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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