All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
