There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
