my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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