He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
