Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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