Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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