drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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