it's too hot outside to masturbate.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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