Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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