Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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