Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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