found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
