Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
