her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
