Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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