So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
