we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
