69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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