I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
