The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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