I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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