one two three fourrrrnication!
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
