I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
