Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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