Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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