last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Randomize
