you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
