Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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