Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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